Five Essential Emotional Vitamins for Psychologically Healthy Children

Children rely entirely on their parents and primary caregivers to meet their developmental needs, so it is important that caregivers are aware of what children need for healthy emotional growth. Similar to ensuring that kids are getting the right vitamins and nutrients from their food, there are some essential “Emotional Vitamins” that children need in order to thrive psychologically. Unmet childhood needs can lead to the development of unhelpful or maladaptive beliefs about themselves and the world, making them more prone to mental illness such as depression or anxiety, and to experiencing difficulties in relationships.

There are five basic childhood needs, or “Emotional Vitamins” ; Safety and Stability, Autonomy, Freedom to express emotions, Spontaneity and play, and Realistic limits and self-control. While it is critical to focus on meeting these needs, there is no perfect parent and it’s ok to make mistakes. As long as you can ensure your child feels safe, respected, accepted and validated, is given time to play and allowed age appropriate responsibilities with realistic rules and limits, then you know you are doing the best you can.

Emotional Vitamin #1: Safety and Stability

Children need to feel safe physically as well as emotionally in order to develop the ability to relax and trust other people. Providing physical safety means keeping children safe from harm as much as is possible. You can provide a sense of emotional safety and stability by ensuring that your child knows that you are available for them in a consistent way, and that this is not dependent on how they behave, or what they do, for example.

Emotional Vitamin #2: Autonomy and Independence

Children need to develop as separate entities from their parents and learn to function independently in the world. To nurture autonomy in your children, teach them skills that help them be self-sufficient and encourage them to accept responsibilities that are appropriate for their age and developmental stage. Allow your children to learn to make their own decisions and grow, even if this might mean that they will make mistakes or sometimes do things differently to how you would do them. Creating autonomy and independence also means letting your child have their own opinions and ideas.

Emotional Vitamin #3: Freedom to Express Needs and Emotions

It is important to give your child permission to express his/her emotions and that these be met with empathy and understanding. When children's feelings and needs are listened to and validated, it helps them develop the belief that their needs are important and that their emotions and needs count as much as other people’s. It also teaches them to understand their own emotions and how to talk about them in a healthy way.

Emotional Vitamin #4: Spontaneity and Play

Being given the freedom to act spontaneously and pursue activities that make them happy is an essential ingredient for child development. It is important to allow your child time to have fun and play and not just focus on doing chores and homework. This way, as adults, they will have learned how to balance work and play and develop reasonable standards for themselves.

Emotional Vitamin #5: Realistic Limits and Self-control

Even though it’s crucial for children to be allowed to have fun and play, it’s just as important for them to learn realistic limits and appropriate boundaries. Children need to have consequences for their behaviour as well as suitable rules and boundaries in order to learn to be responsible. If children are permitted excessive freedom and have no limits put on them, they may become selfish and demanding of others.